One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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