Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
