No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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