it hurts more in the daytime
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
