Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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