Please, let me fuck your mom
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
