I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
