If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
