yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is the high leading the old right now
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
