question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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