That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
