I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
