tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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