There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
