I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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