Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize