we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
