Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize