I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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