We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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