Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
