Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
