plz talk dirty to me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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