I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
