the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
