He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize