Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
