dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
