you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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