We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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