So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
