After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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