I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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