I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize