So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
