ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
