Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
