Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
