WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
