i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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