3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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