but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
