Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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