Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
