it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize