So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize