I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
