I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize