just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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