Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
