No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
