i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
