I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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