You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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