The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
