i would punch a child for taco bell
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Terrible idea I love it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
