no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
