Apparently you make a good broom.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
