We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
