she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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