How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
