dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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