whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
