Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
