I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
