If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
