Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
