you would pick up someone in the library
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
