Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My ass is underappreciated
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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