I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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