he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A+ Viking dick
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
